Author's note: Forgive me for being unable to post this the other day. Full explanation will be provided in my next post. Cheers!
Let me continue the story from yesterday's silent war . I basically didn't talk to him until Cale complained rather loudly how hungry he was.
I would've ignored him if I wasn't feeling a wee bit peckish, myself. So, I went with him to buy take-out from a fast food restaurant (since it was the nearest one that was still open at 11pm) -- and to buy cigarettes, as well. We were all out.
The entire time we were outside, I wouldn't talk to him unless he asked me anything -- just to show some sort of politeness. *insert sarcasm here*
When we got home, we ate in silence. Although, I did give him half of my burger -- as I always do.
He had to wake up early the next day, 5AM, for an early class. So, we went to bed early. I still chose to ignore him and only spoke when he asked me something. That started to piss him off. We were laying in bed, I was surfing the net on the phone and I thought he was about to go to sleep.
Apparently, he had another thing in mind.
I still wasn't in the mood to do anything with him. I wanted an apology. A proper and sincere apology. He doesn't need to be sorry that he was about to watch porn. I just want him to be sorry because he had hurt me. Many people may not understand me, but sometimes -- and only sometimes -- a sincere apology is all a girl needs to hear. It lets her know that her guy acknowledges the fact that he had hurt her in some way, and that he wants to make it up to her in any way he possibly can.
Sometimes, it's the small things that matter.
I told him that he had an early class tomorrow and that he had better get some shut-eye. Cale is not a morning person.
He was really pissed off, then. And soon, afterwards, he got up, took a pillow and a blanket and went to lay down on the floor.
I didn't know if I should follow him, let him sleep on the floor or coax him to come back to bed.
I chose option #3: coax him back to bed. Probably not the most popular choice, but hey. I wasn't going to let him sleep on the cold floor.
You might think we have a sofa at home. Actually, we do. But it's a sofa bed -- the sofa that can fold open to become a bed. Alright, I know everyone's got that part, but that was just for FYI's sake. Anyway, we live in a studio-type apartment. We have all the basic needs and/or utilities -- a sofa bed, a mattress, a bathroom with a shower and a toilet bowl in it, a fridge, a TV, speakers, a coffee/study/dining table, "dining" chairs (in truth, they're plastic monoblocks) , a gas stove (no oven, though) , a kitchen/bathroom sink, a washing machine, cabinets, and AC. Oh and of course, the most important of all, a good and stable Internet connection. Our unit does have a loft. Cale and I use that as our bedroom area.
I wish I could provide you with a proper picture, or maybe even a video. And, I will. When the apartment's a bit cleaner.
So, I got up, kneeled down next to him, and using my most sultry and sweet voice to coax him to lay back in the bed with me. He really is stubborn. He kept telling me to go away and that he was very comfortable sleeping on the cold, hard floor and that he wanted to go to sleep so he won't miss his class the next day. I'm just as stubborn as he is. I wouldn't stop coaxing him back to bed. In the end, and mostly out of irritation from being pestered, Cale got up, threw the pillow on the bed and plopped onto it.
Success! I turned off the lights and lay next to him. I was still pissed off from what he did earlier that day and also because I was the first one to make a move to somehow patch things up between us.
Please note, inviting your partner to have sex with you without a proper, remorseful apology does NOT count as an effort to patch things up.
We weren't laying in bed for a full 2 minutes when I felt him get back up and lie down on the floor again. What a stubborn jack ass. I tried coaxing him back to bed again but I was fed up, as well. When he wouldn't budge, I changed my position on the bed, so that our heads are parallel to each other.
I was disappointed and hurt. Suffice to say, I cried through the rest of the night.
The next morning, I was awake the moment I heard Darren come down from the loft. I knew he would be wondering why Cale and I aren't laying on the same bed, for the first time. I didn't want to have to answer his questions, so I just lay there motionless, pretending I was still asleep.
Cale was also already awake. I heard them talking for a bit. Then Cale got up and started waking me up, in his groggy-just-woke-up voice. I always thought that was hot, but today, I found it really irritating, especially after yesterday.
Darren's voice was small and sweet as he also urged me to wake up. He sat next to me as I lifted my head up. My eyes started balling again and I didn't want either of them to see that. Cale was offering me some water. All I said was "I"ll get it later," and got up and went upstairs. I knew that Darren knew Cale and I just had a fight.
In the morning, Cale and I would usually wake up together and I would make the coffee for the three of us. Today was different.
Let's fast-forward this to when they both left. As soon as I heard the door close, I came down, drank water, and surfed the net. My best friend was online and it was such a long time since we last talked to each other, and even longer since I last saw her. So, we started Skyping and without realizing it, it was already 11 o'clock, and Cale was already knocking at the door.
My Skype session with my best friend put me in such a great mood that I actually was a bit happy that Cale was home. That sort of surprised him, I think.
We ate lunch while my best friend and I were still Skyping. I had to cut our Skype session because if I didn't, we'd be Skyping the whole day.
After the Skype session, Cale started making his move again, exclaiming loudly how much he wants it . I had to admit that I wanted to, as well. So we closed the windows and the door and turned on the AC.
I won't go into detail. All I can say is, it was one of the best sex we've ever had. It was like we haven't had sex in forever. The kisses were so urgent, his touch was rougher than usual, and things we were doing were more "violent". It was almost hard-core. Almost. Here's something I want to ask you, and by you, this time, I mean girls : Do you enjoy anal sex?
After sex, we cleaned up and suddenly, I found myself opening up to him about my real feelings about porn and bold pictures. I explained to him everything I said in my last post --- that I used to watch porn more than anyone when I was younger which changed soon after I met him, and that the only reason I hate porn is because I feel like he's found a replacement for me and that I was being overprotective of my boyfriend.
Soon after that, I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my chest. It was amazing. It was amazing to me because my hatred and disgust for porn was all gone, just like that. All I needed was to say it out loud, realize the real reason why I hate it and open it up with Cale. I'd say it was life-changing, but that might be a bit overboard.
Safe to say, today was simply amazing. I had finally let go of my perverted reaction towards porn. It may sound epic that after a couple of years of hating porn, it disappeared with 5 minutes of heart-to-heart. There's one more thing I realized: after an intense fight, our make-up sex is that much more intense, as well. Food for thought.
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